I Drink Your Blood & I Eat Your Skin!!!

Posted in Uncategorized on November 2, 2016 by Brain Hammer

I Drink Your Blood!

Rabid, drug-infested Hippies on a blood-crazed KILLING RAMPAGE!

I DRINK YOUR BLOOD (1971)

A wandering hippy devil cult’s van breaks down, so they set up shop in a small backwater town which is nearly deserted thanks to the recent construction of a nearby dam. When night falls after a busy day of catching rats to barbecue, the hippies take acid, pledge themselves to master Satan, and proceed to freak the fuck out. Their leader Horace Bones is a Capricorn living in the Tenth House – the House of their lord Satan. Horace was born into Hell and reborn onto this Earth, the first born son of Satan.

Let it be known, sons and daughters, that Satan was an acid head. Drink from his cup; pledge yourselves. And together, we’ll all freak out!”

i-drink-your-blood-combo-lobby-card_2-1971

Horace commands his Earthly followers to drink from the chalice of psychedelic insanity. They pledge to live and kill for the father of damnation. One of their mock Satanic rituals degenerates into the brutal gang rape of a pretty young girl from town who was caught sneaking a peek from the woods. The poor girl wanders home the next morning dazed and drugged, conscious but unable to speak.

When her Grandpa, the town veterinarian, finally figures out what happened he foolishly decides to confront the drug infested Satanic hippies. They quickly dose Gramps up with LSD and send him packing. Grandpa is quickly reduced to an incoherent imbecile who uses salt & pepper shakers for rabbit ears. This indignity infuriates Grandpa’s chubby and feisty Grandson – Pete, who in turn shoots a rabid dog, expertly extracts a blood sample (!) and then injects the rabid dog blood into the hippies’ meat pies!

The hippies are duped by Pete into buying the tainted meat pies and quickly suffer the brutal effects of hydrophobia after eating them. The rabies combined with the hallucinatory drugs coursing through their veins makes them homicidal and they quickly turn on each other before wandering around the town, infecting others. One of the female hippies with a particularly roaring sex drive winds up getting gang fucked by several of the local construction workers, and they all become infected with rabies as well. Pete’s attempt at vigilante justice infects an entire town with rabies and turns a group of men into a band of bloodthirsty zombies, ravaging a peaceful countryside.

You will sit there and suffer through the tortures of the damned. You will sit and watch this shocking ugliness splashing across the screen. You will ask yourself, what acts of sadism will this electric knife be used for? What horrors will be performed with this axe, this hose, this dagger, this gun, this sword? All the implements necessary to make this the ultimate in adult horror films. We have painted a bloody picture, but it is only a small part of what takes place. Can you take it?

8d26df_2636ef90f17e41709577096e09cc6427mv2

I am a long time fan of this legendary, bloodthirsty 1971 effort from director David Durston. My introduction the cult of Bones was initiated with the purchase of an “uncut” VHS from Midnight Video. As a Satanist, I get a lot of enjoyment out of dialog like “Let it be known brothers and sisters that Satan was an acidhead!” This has to be considered truly one of the most over the top and EVIL horror flicks of all time. There are lots of highly memorable performances from the rabid drug infested hippies to enjoy, including a master showing from the one and only Bhaskar as “Horace Bones,” the charismatic cult leader. Jadine Wong tears up the scenery as the deadly Asian beauty “Sue Lin,” and George Patterson rules over Hell as the wild eyed “Rolo.” George does his best to steal the movie (which is no small feat) and is very convincing as a slobbering, axe wielding lunatic. I also have to mention Riley Mills, who plays the pugnacious “Pete.” This kid is absolutely hilarious. Something about the supreme confidence in the way he delivers his dialog, and the way he carries himself really cracks me up. No one could say “Gran-Paw” better than Riley.

The breathtaking Lynn Lowry (The Crazies, Shivers) made her second uncredited on screen appearance (she had previously appeared in a small role in Lloyd Kaufman’s “The Battle Of Love’s Return”) here as the mute hippie who pledges herself to Satan and wields a mean electric knife. Lynn gets naked and looks absolutely beautiful here. She says more with her eyes than some actresses could say with a lengthy monologue. It’s a crime that she wasn’t credited here because her role is arguably the most memorable of the film and her image was frequently used in the ads…and much later, the dvd covers. “I Drink Your Blood” has a huge and well deserved cult following for a LOT of reasons, but Lynn’s memorable appearance in the film, and her many years of promoting the film, along with her legions of fans have definitely helped keep the legend alive.

This clas-sick Jerry Gross (the legendary producer responsible for I Spit On Your Grave, Zombie, Blood Beach and countless other exploitation clas-sicks) production was a perennial grindhouse and drive-in favorite, almost always paired with “I Eat Your Skin,” which was a rather lame 1964 black & white jungle/zombie effort from director Del “Horror Of Party Beach” Tenney. The one-two punch of I DRINK YOUR BLOOD and I EAT YOUR SKIN looked unbelievably cool on movie posters and the blood-curdling, skin-crawling promise of “the Biggest and Bloodiest double horror show in history” and “2 great blood -horrors to rip out your guts” was too much for audiences to resist…then and now.

screen-shot-2016-08-31-at-7-24-36-am

Fans looking for a bloody good time might have been disappointed however, depending on where and when they saw the film, as the film was originally rated “X” for violence (the FIRST film in horror history to ever earn this dubious distinction!) and the prints were often butchered by local theater owners in a lame effort to tone it down. When you see this flick uncut it is chock full of bloodshed. The primitive & savage splatter is applied by the bucket full in the proud H.G. Lewis gross out tradition, and is sure to satisfy gorehounds. It’s also worth mentioning that were two different endings for the film. The original version climaxes with an extra gory gut-punch and then a moment of comic relief, and was director David Durston’s intended ending. Timid theater owners howled for a different ending, and most viewers of the film were unfortunately used to seeing a less shocking version of the film than intended.

Fortunately, those of us experiencing the film for the first time in the digital age didn’t have to worry about such indignities. The fine fiends at GRINDHOUSE RELEASING along with Fangoria (in association with Box Office Spectaculars) put out a fantastic special edition DVD of I DRINK YOUR BLOOD way back in 2002 which was completely uncut, and beautifully remastered. The bonus features included a very entertaining commentary track with director David Durston and star Bhaskar, four never before seen deleted scenes (which include the aforementioned more downbeat alternate ending), interviews with David Durston, Lynn Lowry, Tyde Kierney, and Jack Damon, the incredibly cool theatrical trailer and radio spots, and an extensive gallery of stills and poster art! There’s also “rare and shocking film” of Bhaskar performing “THE EVIL KING COBRA DANCE” and nifty day-glo cover art that glows in the dark. Trippy!!! This dvd also has some of the very coolest animated, interactive menus that I have ever seen. The whole package is good gory fun, and for many years has remained a proud staple of my DVD collection.

9158ssb3dal-_sx466_

But once again, GRINDHOUSE RELEASING has gone a step beyond with their latest deluxe edition Blu-Ray of I DRINK YOUR BLOOD. This brand new high definition restoration is absolutely the best the film has ever looked, ever! The film is beautifully remastered and presented in two different versions: the uncut theatrical edition and the original uncensored director’s cut. This state of the art high definition presentation of the film alone would make this a must have Blu-Ray, but the new special features go a step further and make this a mandatory purchase.

cuduwrnw8aa4ufh

For starters, there is a brand new commentary track with I DRINK YOUR BLOOD stars Jack Damon and Tyde Kierney. There’s also a brand new in depth interview with the late great director and creator David Durston. Fans of the man will be excited to see his long lost X rated psychedelic shocker from 1969 “Blue Sextet” included here as a bonus feature. Drive-in lovers and longtime fans of the clas-sick “I Drink Your Blood” and “I Eat Your Skin” double feature will be delighted to see that the 1964 Del Tenney film “I Eat Your Skin” is presented here as a bonus feature, for the first time ever in HD. There’s also a wealth of additional content, including all of the bonus features from the previous release, newly shot features highlighting the film’s theatrical re-releases, the always incredible Grindhouse Releasing trailer reel, and best of all…a limited edition OFFICIAL I DRINK YOUR BLOOD HORROR HYPO that allows blood-crazed collectors the harmless fun of drawing blood from rabid dogs and infecting their friends with rabies! This is yet another INCREDIBLE release from Grindhouse Releasing, and should be considered nothing less than an essential purchase for all lovers of LSD and Satan!

HAIL SATAN! KEEP THE BLOOD FLOWING!!!

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2!

Posted in Uncategorized on October 26, 2016 by Brain Hammer

After a decade of silence…the buzzz is back!

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE PART 2 (1986)

texas-chainsaw-massacre-2-poster

On the afternoon of August 18th 1973, five young people in a Volkswagen van ran out of gas on a farm road in South Texas. Four of them were never seen again. The next morning, the one survivor, Sally Hardesty-Enright, was picked up on a roadside. Blood-caked and screaming murder.

Sally said she had broken out of a window in Hell. The girl babbled a mad tale: A cannibal family in an isolated farmhouse…chain-sawed fingers and bones…her brother, her friends hacked up for barbeque…chairs made of human skeletons…Then she sank into catatonia. Texas lawmen mounted a month-long manhunt but could not locate the macabre farmhouse. They could find no killers and no victims. No facts; no crime. Officially, on the records, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre never happened.

But during the last 13 years, over and over again reports of bizarre, grisly chain-saw mass-murders have persisted all across the state of Texas. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre has not stopped. It haunts Texas. It seems to have no end.  

6749_3

The nightmare returns with a BANG! as we are introduced to couple of vintage slices of 80’s yuppie meat: two beer swilling, gun toting rich cretins named “Buzz” and “Rick the Prick” who are on the road to nowhere…aka Texas OU Weekend in Dallas! In between rounds, the boys call up and harass a local DJ named “Stretch,” who plays headbanging music and hosts the Red River Rock ‘n’ Roll Request Line on KOKLA. As if tying up Stretch’s phone lines wasn’t bad enough, the boys decide to play a little chicken with one of the local hicks, and run the WRONG farmers off the road. Shame on you for having too much fun.

tumblr_nr6f35tjal1rp0vkjo1_500

Later that night, Buzz & Rick the Prick decide to call up Stretch again, and Rick puts in his immortal request to see some “Bright Lights and Big Titties!” The boys’ fun is short lived this time around, because the pick up truck they ran off the road earlier suddenly shows up to block their way. What follows is a never ending ride into Hell, as the coked-up pencil necks attempt to speed away from the demented pick up on a narrow overpass, as the pick up truck magically manages to keep up with their sports car while driving 90 miles per hour in reverse! The boys first get to meet “Nubbins,” who is actually the rotten corpse of our old friend “The Hitch Hiker” from the original TCM! When Rick the Prick blasts Nubbins in the face, the boys get a look at the REAL horror of Leatherface…who uses his trusty saw to slice up Buzz’s skull.

tcm2-6

The boys crash and burn, and all of this chainsaw carnage was broadcast live over the air to the shock and horror of Stretch, her studio assistant and best bud L.G., and her handfuls of listeners. The “accident” also catches  the attention of an old Texas Ranger named Lt Enright, who immediately drives up from South Texas to investigate. Lt Enright is an old cowboy who has been chasing chainsaws and ghosts for 14 years, ever since his brother’s kids Franklin & Sally fell victim to the chainsaw killers back in 1973. Lt Enright refuses to believe the case was “just an accident” and knows all too well that HELL was exactly what those two wild punks had raised.

hqdefault

Stretch sees a newspaper article about Lt Enright and his quest for justice, and reaches out to him with a tape containing the recording of Buzz & Rick the Prick getting the slice. Stretch hung on to the tape because it just got to her, and decided to use it as an attempt to stop playing headbanging music and do something real. Lt Enright initially refuses her offer for help and sends her packing, with a warning that this bunch of mad dogs that he is running against lives on fear. As Lt Enright sits in his hotel room and stews, the Sawyer Family becomes number one again, when Texas clobbers Oklahoma…in chili. Dallas’ favorite caterer, and the last Round Up Rolling Grill Chef himself, Dreyton Sawyer is the big winner. The secret of course is no secret…it’s the MEAT. Don’t skimp on the meat.

texas-chainsaw-massacre-part-2-1986-movie-9

Meanwhile, Lt Enright stops off at the local Cut-Rite saw shop and arms himself with a trifecta of brand new chainsaws in assorted sizes. When the dumbfounded proprietor encourages hims to test them out, Lt Enright fires up the biggest one and begins taking out 14 years worth of frustration on the giant logs outside. Oh my aching banana! When that fun’s over, he drives over to KOKLA to make a personal request to Stretch. He comes clean and lets her know that the killers are there, and asks her to play the tape of the two yuppie punks getting the slice on her radio show. He asks her to bend the rules, and just do it, despite the inevitable flood of complaints and trouble she would receive.

hopper-chainsaw

Stretch agrees to help Lt Enright, and plays the recording of the kids getting murdered as a special request  for “Lefty” on the hour. Unfortunately for Stretch, this macabre special request quickly earns the attention of two of her biggest fans…and they decide to pay her a special visit that night. When L.G. goes off for coffees at the Big Steak he leaves Stretch in the radio station all alone, and unfortunately for her, she will have to come face to face with her most FAR OUT FAN…a creep who we later learn goes by the name “Chop-Top,” because of a machete wound sustained in Vietnam that left him rather unhinged and with a large itchy metal plate in his head. Chop-Top asks for his own personalized copy of the Rambo III soundtrack, and then a tour of the station. Leatherface suddenly shows up to spoil the fun and accidentally fucks up Chop-Top’s Sonny Bono wig before chasing after Stretch. Dog will hunt. Chop-Top gets his own BONUS BODY when plump ol’ L.G. returns from the Big Steak, and rains hammer blows down onto L.G.’s skull like incoming mail!

giphy

Stretch tries to hide from the maniacs, and winds up gets up close and personal with Leatherface and his beloved chainsaw. Stretch uses her feminine wiles to charm the skin-masked ghoul and Leatherface in return gets to use his saw to closely examine every inch of her legs and devastating short-shorts before finally firing it up and thrusting away in passionate delight. Spent, the dimwitted killer then runs away without actually killing Stretch. Leatherface then lies about it afterwards, assuring his brother Chop-Top that he had not only gotten her, he had gotten her GOOD. The boys then flea the scene with L.G.’s battered bonus body in tow.

texas_chainsaw_2

Stretch composes herself from the chainsaw assault and decides to give chase. She follows the lunatics as they drive back to the lair and winds up stumbling headfirst into the abandoned amusement park from Hell that they now call home. Lefty shows up too late to save Stretch and then has to arm himself with severed limbs and chainsaws before finally running screaming inside the Devil’s Playground and bringing it all down…down to Hell. As Lt Enright runs around the catacombs screaming like a lunatic and sawing up the place, Dreyton blames the property damage and dirty meat on his nap haired coon shit brothers. Leatherface somehow finds time to have a tender face-to-face moment with Stretch and L.G.’s freshly removed face, but the young love isn’t given time to blossom, because Leatherface is forced to choose between scex and the saw. Scex is, well, nobody knows. But the saw…THE SAW IS FAMILY!!! Wait until Grandpa hears about this…

tcm2club

I have been a HUGE fucking fan of this one ever since I first saw it on Joe Bob Brigg’s Drive-In Saturday Night on The Movie Channel back in 1987 or 1988. I can’t remember the exact date, but I know it was shortly after the theatrical run had ended and shortly after the film was already available on VHS. I have no memories of seeing this one at the local video stores, but I do vividly remember seeing the ads for it in the monthly cable guide my parents would get with their bill. It was the classic “Breakfast Club” shot of the Sawyer family…and that was more than enough to have me salivating at the thought of seeing it. Hell, I even remember my dad telling to stop staring at the ad like a freak or he wouldn’t let me watch the movie! At 11 and 12 years old, I was already a big fan of the original TCM, and was getting more and more obsessed with horror flicks.

the2btexas2bchainsaw2bmassacre2bpart2b22bmagazine2bad

I remember finally staying up late one Saturday Night and watching and recording it, and I can still remember Joe Bob’s intro where he lamented not being able to show the original TCM instead, and then said TCM Part 2 was a good movie but not a GREAT movie. (this was a lot more positive than what he was saying in print at the time) Needless to say, I was blown away by how fucking GORY and outrageous TCM Part2 was! As a wee Brain Hammer, I had yet to encounter such jaw dropping amounts of blood and guts being spilled all over the screen! The head slicing! The walls full of guts! The skinning! The Chainsaw disembowelment! This was all far and beyond anything I had ever encountered before. And best of all, the infamous scene where Leatherface gets a close up look at Stretch and her long legs and short shorts. This was the one scene that truly drove the film over the top, and I can vividly remember my father and a couple of his drinking buddies at the American Legion talking about that one the following weekend. “I thought he was gonna fire up that chainsaw and split her in two!” The thought of multiple households all across my sleepy little town, all tuning in for a Saturday Night with Chop-Top & Joe Bob Briggs warms my fucking heart. That was the kind of world I grew up in, and I wouldn’t change it for anything. A few years later, I was lucky enough to buy a VHS copy of TCM Part 2 at my local Ames and practically wore out that cheap “Video Treasures” tape with repeat viewings.

the2btexas2bchainsaw2bmassacre2b22b2528198625292bvhs

In my humble opinion, TCM Part 2 is one of the RARE horror sequels that while not as good as the original film, is still a worthy and entertaining follow up. Most sequels just straight up suck and shouldn’t exist whatsoever, and others manage to be decent in their own right but nothing really special. TCM Part 2 on the other hand is a sequel to THE greatest horror film ever made, which gives it some impossibly big shoes to follow. The reason TCM Part 2 is such a winner is the fact that it doesn’t try to precisely copy the first movie, or even closely match it in terms of feel or tone. TCM Part 2 does not have that much acclaimed “Documentary feel” of the original, it’s a total freak show: a colorful non-stop blast of puking insane energy, the visual equivalent of a throw up ride at a carnival. Fast, loud & greasy. When the original TCM succeeded with just drops of blood, TCM Part 2 goes over the top with BUCKETS of the red stuff. It’s a totally different experience, but with a similar goal: to eventually drive the audience into a screaming hysterical frenzy!

tcmfamily

The other big reason for the sequel’s enduring success, besides the legendary splatter, is the incredible cast that was assembled. You have to start with the one and only Dennis Hopper, who brings exactly the sort of intensity & insanity you would expect from the man in 1986. Having him star in the film as an older relative of the first film’s victims was absolute genius, and allows the heart wrenching moment when he discovers the skeletal remains of Franklin, still clutching that flashlight for dear life all those years later. Then there’s the leading lady, Caroline Williams, who is also fantastic. She’s very likable and realistic, and it’s easy to sympathize with her as she is repeatedly tortured and descends into total screaming lunacy by the film’s deranged climax. She’s also undeniably “Texas,” there’s just something very genuine about her. And then finally there’s the family themselves…the one and only Jim Siedow returns as the public “face” of the family, the “Cook.” Having Jim onboard immediately makes this feel like an authentic TCM sequel. The lack of Ed Neal’s “Hitch Hiker” was sad but understandable, and the addition of Bill Moseley as his long lost brother “Chop-Top” more than makes up for it. Bill’s itchy plate and coat hanger routine are as iconic as anything in the first movie. Bill pretty much carries the whole film along with Dennis Hopper in the manic intensity department. The other star of the show is Lou Perryman, who spits his way into our hearts as the lovable, fry house building bonus body.

tcmjap

Then there’s big Bubba himself – Bill Johnson. Bill stepped into the shoes of Gunnar Hansen and had the make or break chance to make the character of Leatherface his own. In my opinion, Bill did a great job and more than lived up to the original. He got to rock a nastier looking flesh mask, have more moments of chainsaw swinging glory, and got to strut his stuff as a romantic lead. It was more of a multi-faceted performance, and Bill deserves a world of credit for doing the role justice, and for always being a gentleman who is willing to speak with nutjobs who pester him with interview requests: https://brain-hammer.com/2011/10/05/leatherface/

texas_chainsaw2-9

The cast is top notch, the music was a lethal combination of creepy and cool, the gore was state of the art and totally over the top, and Tobe Hooper and the notorious Cannon Films were good enough to side step mass markets & give the fans what they wanted by releasing TCM Part 2 unrated, with all the juicy gore that the MPAA would have demanded removed proudly intact. Over the years, I have seen fan estimation and public opinion of this one go up and down, when it was first released it was universally hated, and then over the years it became a fan favorite with a huge cult following that rivals even the original. In my humble opinion, TCM Part 2 is one of the all time great 80’s horror flicks, one of the highlight “gore” flicks of the 80’s,  and one of the greatest horror sequels ever made.

tcm-2-blu-ray-cover-art-03

The good folks at Scream Factory obviously agree with me, as they were wise enough to recently release a beautiful collector’s edition Blu-Ray release of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2. For longtime collectors of the film, it’s well known there are already multiple releases available to choose from, including everything from special edition dvds to bare bones blu-rays. Scream Factory goes one step further for diehard fans with a brand new 2K HD scan that looks better and brighter than anything previously released. There’s also a brand new behind the scenes commentary track, and brand new interviews with the makeup effects artists, Leatherface stunt man & performer Bob Elmore, and best of all – Buzz & Rick the Prick themselves! There’s also a brand new interview with the film’s editor, and a new featurette revisiting the locations of the film. All of this new content made the purchase more than worthwhile for me, and I’m sure other long time TCM Part 2 fanatics will feel the same way. LOOK AT THAT BEEF!

KEEP THE BLOOD FLOWING!!!    

Cat In The Brain!

Posted in Uncategorized on July 13, 2016 by Brain Hammer

“Sadism, carnage, brutality, lust, and utter psychosis…delivered as only Lucio Fulci can!”

CAT IN THE BRAIN (1990)

220px-catinbrain

Italian horror legend Lucio Fulci stars as…Italian horror legend Lucio Fulci in this “real life versus reel life” shocker. The film within a film begins with a fevered Fulci pouring over his latest script, which promises such delights as a woman hacked to death with an axe, her face cleaved in half. Another strangled. Yet another hanged. Someone chopped to bits with a chainsaw, or drowned in boiling water, or throat ripped out by a maddened cat! Buried alive, tortured, scarred, stabbed, sawn in two, crucified, decapitated…the beastly roar of a savage cat tearing at his brain distorts his inner voice…devouring the remains.

505200334_640

We then join Fulci’s latest masterwork in progress, with a loving closeup of a female cadaver with a large bloody chunk of flesh missing from her leg…that we then see being panfried with mustard and eagerly devoured by a madman. The bloodthirsty maniac then uses his trusty chainsaw to hack away her limbs and head, and grinds her bloody meat into fresh hamburger which he then feeds to his pigs. Fulci calls cut and then dons his trademark red flannel coat & hat before dashing off himself for a quick bite to eat. Unfortunately, the images of his latest grisly scene flood his mind  and turn him off from enjoying a nice filet or some freshly minced tar tar.

fulci-cat

Lucio goes home to rest but is disturbed by the sounds of his next door neighbor’s chainsaw in action, and soon begins to have visions of the blood soaked bastard coming after him with murder in his eyes. Fulci retaliates by grabbing a hatchet and smashing a couple cans of red paint. Plagued with a chronic fear of hamburger & gardeners, he turns to a local shrink – Egon Swharz for help. Swharz quickly concludes that Fulci is suffering from an identity crisis, breaking down the barriers between what he films and what is real. The barriers are further erased when Fulci later has to stage a Nazi orgy scene, a wonderful orgy with all the sex, cruelty, degradation, sadism and torture you can think of. Enraged with madness afterwards, Fulci strikes out at a visiting tele-journalist and begins violently tearing away her clothes…which the closeted reporter readily admits was the greatest thrill of her life. “Sadism? Nazism? Is there any point anymore?”

Meanwhile, the good doctor Swharz watches all of Fulci’s gore flicks on VHS and is struck with an evil idea of his own. He will subject Lucio to hypnosis to once and for all pass over the boundaries between fantasy and reality. Not in an effort to help Lucio restore his shattered sanity…but in order to create an evil being. A bloodthirsty monster totally possessed by madness, living out scenes he thinks are real. After the hypnosis, Fulci is tormented even further with nightmare visions of macabre death, rupturing wounds, violent stabbings, and severed heads melting inside his microwave. The mad doctor then plans to get rid of his cold & unloving wife once and for all and to use Lucio as the scapegoat, believing his gory films will condemn him as a violent murderer. Can Fulci find a way to end this nightmare concert before the final curtain falls?

catbrain3_large

Cat In The Brain (aka Nightmare Concert) was one of the final efforts from Italy’s master poet of the macabre, and serves as both a middle finger to his various critics and a loving wink to his legions of fans. Fulci gets the rare chance to step in front of the cameras, have a laugh at his reputation, and let the stuffy opposition of his films know exactly what he thinks about “that stupid old theory that seeing violence on the screen provokes violence.” Meanwhile, the fans of his macabre masterworks are treated to a “greatest hits” package of some of Fulci’s gory late-career highlights.

Print

Cat In The Brain is perhaps best known for being an “odds & ends” package of recycled gore footage from various films that Fulci had a hand in creating, including scenes taken from Fulci’s “Touch Of Death” & “Sodoma’s Ghost.” There’s also footage from films that Fulci produced, including scenes lifted from Mario Bianchi’s “Murder Secret,” Leandro Lucchetti’s “Bloody Psycho,” Enzo Milioni’s “Escape From Death,” Giovanni Simonelli’s “Hansel E Gretel,” and Andrea Bianchi’s “Massacre.” Scene for scene, Cat In The Brain is easily Fulci’s most violent and gory film ever. It really doesn’t matter where the footage comes from, it’s way that Fulci effortlessly combines the assorted bloody scenes into one nightmarish whole that makes Cat In The Brain such a gory good time.

Make no mistake, this is a must see flick for lovers of the juicy red stuff! The numerous gory highlights include cannibalism, dismemberment, decapitation, piano wire strangulation, gouged eyes, and a shower scene knifing that makes the one in “Psycho” look like kid’s stuff. There’s also more chainsaw action here than in your average TCSM sequel. There are multiple chainsaw decapitations, including the unbelievable moment where a tyke on a tricycle loses his head. Cat In The Brain might never get as much attention from fans as Lucio’s earlier efforts for various reasons, but it’s still an excellent tongue in cheek horror flick that deserves a larger audience. And what diehard fan of Fulci’s wouldn’t delight in watching him take a final bow, sailing away in a boat named PERVERSION with plenty of freshly cut bait?

catbrain

Cat In The Brain comes fully loaded on Blu-Ray in an overstuffed 3 disc set from Grindhouse Releasing, that includes the film’s fantastic Fabio Frizzi soundtrack on CD! The special features on this deluxe edition include in-depth interviews with Lucio Fulci and star Brett Halsey, new interviews with Fabio Frizzi and the film’s screenwriter, cinemattographer, and poster artist, theatrical trailers, stills and poster art galleries, and some very extensive liner notes, including thoughts from Lucio’s daughter Antonella Fulci. The package also comes complete with a nice postcard sized portrait of Lucio, and is topped off with some truly RAD glow in the dark packaging! Once again, huge credit must be given to the hard working folks at Grindhouse Releasing for putting together such an incredible deluxe edition blu-ray release. They have earned their spot as the leading purveyors of high definition chainsaw dismemberment, and this is yet another must have release. All Fulci fans need to pick this one up while they still can, or forever feel the torment of a maddened cat tearing at their cerebellum!

KEEP THE BLOOD FLOWING!!! 

The Mutilator!!!

Posted in Uncategorized on May 5, 2016 by Brain Hammer

By sword. By pick. By axe. Bye bye!

THE MUTILATOR (1985)

This delightful film starts out innocently enough with tender music and soft focused shots of a wife lovingly preparing a birthday cake for her husband, Big Ed. Little Ed Jr decides to give his Daddy a big birthday surprise by cleaning Daddy’s beloved gun collection. Ed Jr goes from being meticulous to matricidal when he accidentally gives his poor Mommy a back full of buckshot. Big Ed comes home to find his son cowering over his dead wife and becomes unhinged. He drags his wife’s bloody carcass into the living room and begins pounding booze to steady his nerves. He even pours some into the mouth of his dead wife for grins.

Then we flash forward several years and find Ed Jr all grown up, nursing a Budweiser and sporting some impressive chest hair. Ed Jr was enjoying an evening out at a bar with his frigid and horrible girlfriend Pam when he receives an unexpected phone call from his long estranged Father. Big Ed wants Ed Jr to close up his condo on the beach for the winter. Big Ed encourages his son to “take the responsibility and face it like it man.” Ed Jr is none too pleased at the idea of having to go to the isolated condo for the mundane tasks of turning off the electricity and water, but his bossy and manipulative girlfriend decides it would be the perfect chance for four days of rest and relaxation on the beach. Their annoying friends Ralph (a beer obsessed law student who wears a sweater on his shoulders), Sue (Ralph’s pretty puritanical love interest), Mike (a big blonde doofus), and Linda (Mike’s horny girlfriend) invite themselves along, and the next morning the six pals all load into Ed’s car for a fall break getaway.

When the gang arrives at the condo they are shocked to find the front door wide open. The place is trashed, full of garbage and empty bottles of booze. Ed Jr assures his friends that there is nothing unusual about this because his father and his redneck pals are notorious drunks. He does get a bit worried when he notices that his pop’s prized battle axe is missing, however. What Ed Jr and his friends don’t know is that Big Ed is lurking inside the garage. There he silently wrestles his inner demons and is confronted with his violent memories. As he clutches his axe, he closes his eyes and dreams of the different ways he should have killed his young son.

Mike and Linda wander around the garage and eventually stumble across Big Ed’s trophy room. This allows Mike to make a crack about “Goose – the moon god” and grab Linda’s ass. Then they go back to the condo and have dinner with the others. Then they go for a moonlit walk on the beach. For some reason we watch all of this. This stretch of the flick is torturous to put it nicely. Things finally pick up when doofus and the slut go skinny dipping in the condo’s pool. This allows Big Ed the opportunity to drown Linda. Mike doesn’t notice of course, and then spends the next several minutes walking around looking for his missing clothes and girlfriend. Being an especially big retard, Mike doesn’t suspect anything is wrong and instead has fun playing a game of hide and seek with himself. This all ends rather violently when Mike utters his immortal line “I’m…coming…to get you!” and Big Ed shows up to rip his chest apart with an outboard motor!

As all this is going on the other four kids are taking a stroll on the beach. They run into a friendly police officer who warns them to be careful on the beach at night. The cop should have taken his own advice, as shortly thereafter he has a large piece of wood slammed into his face and is swiftly beheaded by Big Ed! Then the kids play an extended game of “Blind Man’s Bluff,” which is yet another retarded variation of hide and seek. (a recurring theme throughout) This pads out the film nicely, as the kids and the killer stalk after each other in the dark for a while. Then the game ends without incident and the scene whimpers out like a dying rat.

Then as the kids decide to settle in for the evening, Ralph goes out on one last mission to track down Mike and Linda. Instead of finding his friends he finds Big Ed and gets the business end of a pitchfork in his throat. Sue becomes worried when Ralph doesn’t return and convinces Ed Jr and Pam to join her in the search. They make the infinitely wise decision to split up, which gives Big Ed the chance to get up close and personal with sweet little Sue. He drags her into the garage and in one of the most notorious moments in horror history proceeds to slowly insert an oversized fishing gaff into her crotch!

Ed Jr. and Pam eventually find Sue’s mutilated body and the bodies of their other missing friends, which Big Ed had displayed as gruesome trophies. As they attempt to escape the hellish condo with their lives intact they have an unbelievably drawn out and agonizing final confrontation with Big Ed that results in massive loss of life and limb. Their horrifying fall break vacation was no longer just a day at the beach, it had become a nightmare. By sword. By pick. By axe. Bye bye!

I’m a huge fan of this infamous slasher shocker from writer/producer/director Buddy Cooper that so proudly pushes the boundaries of good taste. This clas-sick flick starts off with a brutal scene of accidental matricide, and then degenerates into a series of increasingly perverse and lurid murders. There is no doubt that the single most effective and memorable element of the film is the graphic gore. The multiple death scenes in “The Mutilator” are about as over the top as they come. The juicy fishing gaff and boat propeller murders in particular are the stuff of legend for gorehounds. In terms of sheer splatter, “The Mutilator” easily ranks right up there with other truly brutal 80′s slasher flicks such as “Maniac” and“Nightmare.”

The pacing and acting on the other hand are abysmal. All of the actors are uniformly awful, with the exceptions of Jack Chatham as the silent but deadly killer and the one and only Morey Lampley – who steals the show as the rather dimwitted Mike. Morey’s performance in “The Mutilator” is not good by any means, but it is one of a kind to say the least. Acting or not, he comes across as a guy who never quite learned his multiplication tables, and the film never fully recovers after his quirky character is quickly dispatched. I just wish the incredibly annoying character Pam could have been snuffed instead. She rivals the lead actress in “The Dorm That Dripped Blood” in the “unlikable cunt”department. The biggest flaw of the film however is the pacing, as it takes a good long while before finally getting down to bloody business. That said, I always find the film’s down moments more than silly enough to overlook this and just go along for the ride.

No review of “The Mutilator” would be complete without mentioning the incredible toe tapping theme song – “Fall Break,” which was performed by the aptly named Peter Yellen & The Breakers. The film was originally going to be titled “Fall Break,” and obviously Vestron Video decided not to bother replacing the theme song after changing the title to the more graphic (and commercially appealing) sounding “The Mutilator.” Some critics complained that “The Mutilator” was just another run of the mill massacre, but I assure you, your average slasher flicks did NOT feature a hideously catchy theme song with lyrics like this:

When the leaves of summer turn red and gold, and the football games bring a hint of the cold, time to get away. We’ll pack the car with escape in mind, forgettin’ our classes leavin’ books behind, time to get away. We’re goin’ on a fall break! (Fall break!) Running in the sand, feelin’ all right. And when you fall into my arms I’ll break into your heart…”

THE MUTILATOR  is a treasure from the glory days of the independent horror craze. It’s also one of the all time great slasher flicks. For far too long, this flick languished in semi-obscurity due to a lack of a proper DVD release. Every other 80’s slasher flick under the sun would get a DVD release (and a remake) over the years, or at least a crappy bootleg. The Mutilator wasn’t even that lucky in the States. A few years ago the retards at Code Red DVD promised a special edition release but in typical fashion they produced nothing but bullshit and excuses, even stooping as low as blaming Buddy Cooper himself for not providing them with “pristine” source materials that didn’t exist at the time. Idiots. Fortunately, the good folks at Arrow Video USA recently stepped up to the plate and released an absolutely AMAZING special edition Blu-Ray/DVD combo set!

the-mutilator-blu-ray
As I’ve quickly come to expect from Arrow Video, their release of THE MUTILATOR is nothing short of spectacular. The film is presented totally uncut and has been beautifully remastered for high definition presentation. Trust me, this is a HUGE difference from the old unrated Vestron VHS that most of us are familiar with. There’s also an incredible wealth of bonus features, including an in depth 75 minute feature length behind the scenes documentary titled “Fall Breakers: The Story of The Mutilator.” There are also two shorter pieces titled “Mutilator Memories” and “Tunes For The Dunes” that cover both the makeup and music, respectively. As if that wasn’t enough, there’s also two different cast & crew commentary tracks, trailers and TV spots, still galleries and storyboards. It’s a fully loaded package that will be a mandatory purchase for fans of the film and 80’s slashers. The only drawback of this release is the overuse of the “FALL BREAK” theme song, which blasts throughout the menus, and accompanies most of the special features. I love that song as much as the next Mutilator Madman, but after a couple screenings it did start to drive me batshit insane…so have the mute button handy. I can’t recommend this one highly enough, it was well worth the wait.
KEEP THE BLOOD FLOWING!!!

It’s Exactly What You Think It Is!

Posted in Uncategorized on February 20, 2016 by Brain Hammer

You don’t have to go to Texas for a chainsaw massacre!

PIECES (1982)

Boston 1942. A blossoming young pervert named Timmy Reston sits alone in his bedroom putting together a jigsaw puzzle featuring a nude pin up girl. His emotionally unstable mother walks in and catches him red handed. Infuriated, she asks him where the filth came from and slaps around the little brat while demanding answers. She warns the boy that he will end up like his father and proceeds to slam a picture of the man into a mirror. This violent act appears to have a profound effect on the boy. Mrs. Reston sends her son off in search of a plastic bag so she can junk all of his toys. Timmy returns with an axe instead and repeatedly slams it into mommy’s skull! Then the pint sized psychopath removes mommy’s head with a saw! After shutting his mother up for good Timmy goes back to work on his blood splattered puzzle.

A friend of the family becomes concerned when she can’t reach Mrs. Reston and shows up with police. When the cops break in they discover a gruesome sight in the bedroom – enough blood on the floor to ensure that something had been butchered. Then they find Mrs. Reston’s severed head in a closet. Little Timmy is found cowering in another closet, covered in blood and whimpering about a big man that hurt his mommy. We are told that Mr. Reston is overseas in the Air Force and that the murderous little bastard Timmy will be sent to live with an Aunt who lives nearby.

After the opening credits we flash forward forty years to find an unseen killer (who is obviously Timmy Reston all grown up) on the prowl at a large New England university. A bizarre skateboarding accident involving a large pane of glass reminds the madman of his mother smashing the mirror with his father’s picture forty years before and inspires him to go on a brutal killing spree. The unseen slasher stalks after the sexy young students so he can remove their limbs with a chainsaw and use the pieces to create a human version of his prized pin up puzzle! His first victim is a tasty young co-ed that he decapitates with a chainsaw in broad daylight.

Hard boiled police detectives Lt. Bracken (Christopher George of “Grizzly” &“Enter The Ninja” fame!) and Sgt. Holden (Leslie Nielson lookalike Frank Bana, who also appeared in “Return Of The Evil Dead”) are sent in to investigate the murder. They start with the Dean, who seems more concerned about bad publicity than the murder itself. The Dean (Edmund“Don’t Open Til Christmas” Purdom) turns the detectives on to the head of the anatomy department and closet campus queen – Professor Brown. (Jack Taylor, who appeared in numerous Spanish horror epics including “Ghost Galleon” & “Night Of The Sorcerors”) Professor Brown seems to think it might be one of the boys, but Sgt. Holden assures him that at this point the investigation consists of buying clothes without labels and trying them on for size.

Shortly afterwards we are introduced to the campus stud Kendall James. (Ian Sera, who also appeared in “Pod People”) A blonde hardbody sends Kendall an invitation to fuck in the campus swimming pool later. Kendall accepts the invitation of course, but the killer beats him to the pool room and proceeds to net the girl like a large fish and then shear away her limbs with his trusty saw. This time the madman takes the girls’ torso as a souvenir. The temperamental and sneering campus gardener WillArd (unforgettably portrayed by Paul “BLUTO” Smith!) stumbles upon the bloody crime scene and has a wild run in with the cops that ends with Sgt. Holden threatening to BLOW his brains out!

The detectives question Kendall and his nerdy best friend “Goggles” and wind up believing that Kendall had nothing to do with the murder. Lt. Brown even decides to turn to Kendall for help with the investigation. He also arranges for an undercover police officer named Mary Riggs (played by Christopher George’s wife – Lynda Day George, who also starred in “Mortuary” and “Day Of The Animals”) to join the campus faculty as the new female tennis coach.

Meanwhile, the killer decides he needs a pair of arms and decides to relieve a pretty young dance major of hers inside an elevator. Kendall hears her screams of torment and barks out orders to the police officers on the scene. The sight of the limbless girl in the elevator is enough to make a seasoned police officer puke his guts up, but Kendall immediately seizes control of the situation and tells the guy to go call an ambulance! The girl initially survives the attack but dies in the hospital from the massive shock and loss of blood before she can identify the killer. Mary searches for clues and stumbles upon the fucking Kung Fu Professor (Bruce Li!) who attacks her because of something he ate. Bad chop suey maybe.

The mad butcher then sets his sights on the legs of Susie Billings, a sexy young tennis player. The ever resourceful killer sabotages the campus P.A. System so it continuously plays canned intermission music. This makes a perfect cover up for the sound of his chainsaw. While Mary, Kendall, and WillArd are fumbling around with the music the lousy bastard kills her. It’s all enough to make Mary unleash a devastating display of sheer frustration! BASTARD!!!

Lt. Brown turns to Kendall yet again for help and sends him to the record vault with Sgt. Holden to pour over files looking for any reference to the campus staff. Mary goes to a suspect’s house that evening for a cup of coffee and a few questions and winds up getting a lot closer to the killer than she bargained for. Just as Mary is drugged and her lovely feet are about to become the final addition to the murderer’s supreme creation, Kendall unearths a clue that reveals the killer’s true identity. Kendall and the cops have to race to stop the killer before he can finish his human jigsaw puzzle. This all culminates with an unbelievable mind blowing genital crushing grand finale that must be seen to be believed!

PIECES is one of my all time favorite flicks, and I consider it to be one of the “blueprint” flicks that had a profound effect on me and my tastes in horror. My father was demented enough to rent the VHS for me when it was brand new…and I was about 10 years old. I can still remember him stumbling home drunk that night, muttering something about how “the box said something about going to Texas with a chainsaw or something.” I have been a HUGE fan ever since, and I have seen this flick more times over the years than I could possibly count. I make everyone I know watch this movie if they haven’t already. Whenever I talk to people about horror flicks I always have to mention PIECES as one of my favorites and as one of the all time great 80’s slasher flicks.

This flick is absolutely hilarious, it plays out like a really gory and outrageous version of an Italian Giallo. The unseen, black gloved killer is pure Dario Argento. The soundtrack from Carlo Maria Cordio (aka CAM) is atmospheric and excellent, even if it borrows heavily from Goblin’s score for “Zombi.” ”Pieces” was written by the terrible trio of director Juan Piquer Simon, producer Dick Randall (“Slaughter High”), and the infamous Joe D’Amato. (“Antropophagus”) No wonder this sleazy slasher flick is so full of brutal violence and perverse sexual overtones. There’s some especially tasty nudity to enjoy and even a little something for the ladies when Simon slips in a full frontal shot of Ian Sera. IT STINKS!

There’s more sidesplitting dialog in this howler than any other I can think of. From the cross eyed girl with the HUGE tits that dreamily coos how“the most beautiful thing in the world is smoking pot and fucking on a waterbed at the same time,” to WillArd proudly proclaiming  he “ain’t getting’ paid by the hour,” to Christopher George imploring his partner to“take some uppers, anything, just get me a lead!” The dubbing and dialog definitely make this work an unintentional comedy, and this is one of the rare flicks I find actually gets funnier with repeat viewings.

“Pieces” also works as a slasher flick. Big time. The graphic violence is very nasty and convincing. In the gruesome scene where the killer chainsaws into the abdomen of a girl in the shower a real pig carcass was used which makes the scene very effectively disgusting. From start to finish this flick takes no prisoners. Watching it recently I was stuck by just how SPLASHY the gore is in this one. Pieces is easily one of the most gruesome and mean spirited slashers. This gory little gem definitely lives up to its’ immortal tag line: “You don’t have to go to Texas to have a chainsaw massacre!” and has to be considered essential viewing for any self respecting fan of 80’s horror.

PIECES also currently holds the record for the movie I have bought the most times in my lifetime. I first picked up the strangely edited TZ VHS release (which is missing the entire opening scene and starts with the opening credits!) when I was in junior high. I watched that one a shitload of times in the early 90’s with my buds, even though it made even less sense without the opening scene, and I would always have to tell them what the intro was supposed to be from my memory. A few years later I stumbled upon a used copy of the Vestron VHS at a local video store and quickly snapped it up. When I got heavily into collecting obscure horror flicks a few years down the road I bought the “uncut” Japanese version of Pieces (with Japanese subtitles) on VHS from the legendary Midnight Video for a whopping $25 bucks! I remember being REALLy excited to see that one, and then being really bummed to see it was exactly the same as the Vestron VHS, with the subtitles being the only difference. All said, that’s about $60 that was spent on those three copies.


All of that went out the window when I went to the chopping maul one day and found the Diamond Entertainment DVD release of Pieces sitting there…for $5. That cheap ass, shitty bootleg dvd was the exact same quality, and had the exact same content as all the other“uncut” versions I had previously owned on VHS. I had that one for years, and also bought bought a cheap ass “horror collection” DVD set that included Pieces. That was my fifth purchase. The sixth and what I assumed to be final purchase came along years later when the fine folks at GRINDHOUSE RELEASING released an amazing 2-disc deluxe edition dvd release of PIECES, which was fucking incredible and a must-have for hardcore fans of the film. The highlight of that one for me was the optional Spanish soundtrack with original score by Librado Pastor, which made watching the film again a totally new and bizzare experience, and the really interesting in-depth interview with director Juan Piquer.

74133_front

Like I said, I assumed that bad ass 2 disc dvd release would have been the last word, but then Grindhouse Releasing went ahead and blew it out of the fucking water with their latest release of PIECES – an absolutely KILLER 3 disc blu-ray/cd set that includes a bonus CD featuring the original soundtrack freshly remastered from the original studio tapes! This stunning, brand new high definition presentation of PIECES is easily the best the film has ever looked, EVER, and as if that wasn’t enough, which believe me it would be, there’s also an exclusive commentary track from the legendary star Jack Taylor! This rare chance to get to hear from Jack, speaking at length about this film makes this an essential purchase for all diehard fans. But that’s not all, there’s also a brand new full length documentary included, titled “42nd Street Memories.” As you expect from the title, this one covers the gory daze of the exploitation flick craze, and contains interviews with icons like Bill Lustig, Frank Henenlotter, Buddy Giovinazzo, Jeff Lieberman, and best of all, the notorious Terry Levene from Aquarius Releasing! This documentary could easily stand on it’s own as a separate release, and the fact that it’s included here as a bonus just adds to the incredible value of this release. I’m probably guilty of throwing around the word “mandatory” too much in my reviews, but what else could this one possibly be considered?!?

12301220_1668315053449853_911314450_n

And speaking of bonus features, there’s one more thing worth a special mention – the first 3000 units include a replica PIECES “naked lady” jigsaw puzzle! How cool is that? This sweet little bonus was again, strictly limited and advertised as such from the get go…and yet somehow the internet and specifically the mailboxes of the good folks at Grindhouse Releasing were FLOODED with nasty complaints from greedy and grubby little cunts complaining about the “limited” availability of this puzzle replica! I have to say this, if you have the nerve to complain about such things, you don’t deserve one anyways. It blows my mind people can’t see the bigger picture here, and instead of pissing and moaning about stupid shit like a little puzzle, revel instead in the glorious HIGH DEFINITION presentation of the film, and the aforementioned wealth of bonus materials…including a fucking CD of the soundtrack, and perhaps show some gratitude to the hard working people who made it possible. Grindhouse Releasing has all of my hard earned respect for their incredible efforts, and REAL fans of the good stuff should give them praise for these kind of top notch, absolutely stellar releases. I for one, want to see more of them in the future, and I am proud as hell to have bought the film a 7th time.

BUY OR DIE YOU LOUSY BASTARD AND KEEP THE BLOOD FLOWING!!!

My Bloody Valentine!

Posted in Uncategorized on February 14, 2016 by Brain Hammer

Brain Hammer's Picks From The Crypt

There’s more than one way to lose your heart…

MY BLOODY VALENTINE (1981)

Once upon a time on a sad Valentine, in a place known as Hanniger Mine…a legend began. Every woman and man would always remember the time. And those who remained were never the same, you could see the fear in their eyes. Once every year as the 14th draws near there’s a hush all over the town. 20 years came and went and everyone spent the 14th in quiet regret. And those still alive know the secret survives, in the darkness that looms in the night. In this little town when the 14th comes round there’s a silence and fear in the air. Remember the morn that the legend was born, all the shock and the horror was there. For the legend they say on a Valentine’s Day is a curse that will live on and on, and…

View original post 1,304 more words

Cannibal Ferox!!!

Posted in Uncategorized on June 5, 2015 by Brain Hammer

Positively the most VIOLENT film ever made! Guaranteed to upset your stomach!

CANNIBAL FEROX (1981)

A young pair of brother and sister anthropologists – Gloria & Rudy Davis (Lorraine De Salle & Danilo Mattei), take a trip to the jungles of South America to help prove correct Gloria’s theories on the “myth” of man eating man. Gloria intends to prove that cannibalism no longer exists, and has NEVER existed! How she can prove cannibalism never existed by simply visiting a jungle is not explained. Also not explained is why she would want to bring their hot pussied little whore of a friend Pat (Zora Kerova) along for the trip. After Pat has sex with a stranger in exchange for a shower, the three idiots quickly manage to crash their jeep and then have to trek through the jungle on foot.

After a tasty encounter with a native who is contently munching on some fat green worms, the gang runs into a dead body and pair of lowlife drug pushers that are on the run from the New York mob after pulling a sting on a couple of Brooklyn horsemen and running off with $100,000. At first, the rather strung out Mike Logan (the legendary Giovanni Lombardo Radice!) tells a tale about a tribe of vicious cannibals that attacked them and mutilated their Portuguese cocaine and emerald harvesting companion. His buddy Joe is wounded, and lets Mike do most of the talking. Later that night and the next day Mike has some fun with Pat. After a few coke fueled fuck fests he asks her if she would like to “make” an Indio girl. Pat, being a well established slut, is intrigued by this offer and agrees, which leads to the attempted rape and cold blooded murder of one of the young natives.

Shortly after this senseless murder the now sick and delirious Joe finally breaks his silence and tells the real story behind the death of the“Portuguese.” It turns out that the story Mike told the gang was a lot of batshit. The so-called “Portuguese” was really a young Indio boy that Mike had tortured and murdered for not producing any Emeralds from the local rivers. With the cocaine Mike was on, he went completely crazy and seemed to get a perverted kick out of make the poor bastard suffer. Mike gouged out one of the Indio’s eyes, then castrated him and left him to bleed to death. After telling Gloria and Rudy his incredible story Joe dies from an infection. This gives Mike and Pat enough time to steal all of the supplies and leave the others for dead.

The adult men of the Indio tribe had all conveniently been away on a hunting trip while Mike was on his rampage. After returning home and discovering this incredible outrage the tribe decides that all of the white people must die, slowly. It doesn’t take long for all four of the survivors to be captured and brutal and primitive justice is dished out in short order. Once the unholy cannibal ferox has begun the natives have a blast hanging Pat with hooks through her tits and then give Mike more than a little taste of his own medicine. Humiliation and mutilation are only the appetizer for this blood feast – castration and decapitation are the main course. And of course no jungle revenge would be complete without a little cannibalism for desert.

This totally outrageous 1981 Umberto Lenzi film begins with a thoughtful pre-credits disclaimer that warns viewers that “the following feature is one of the most violent films ever made” and that “there are at least two dozen scenes of barbaric torture and sadistic cruelty graphically shown.” I lost count somewhere along the way, but that number sounds about right to me! Pretty much every other scene consists of nauseating footage of animals being killed, either by other animals or humans. One particularly disturbing moment features a tied up and defenseless little mongoose being savaged by a large snake! However, with all the flack that Lenzi (and Ruggero Deodato, and all the other “jungle” flick directors) deservedly gets for his completely unnecessary cruelty to animals, I’m left wondering why more people don’t hate Francis Coppola for doing the exact same thing in “Apocalypse Now,” or despise Walter Hill for similar scenes in “Southern Comfort.” I guess when they do it – it’s considered art. I always rationalize these scenes by remembering the cruel reality of jungle life, where animals are killed and eaten every day, and then remember the real cattle being primed for the final slaughter are the humans.

CANNIBAL FEROX (aka Make Them Die Slowly) is my hands down my personal favorite of all of the incredible Italian cannibal/jungle flicks. I find this one to be ridiculously entertaining. Say what you want about the quality of the film, it certainly isn’t boring. The dubbing, the dialog, the score – all cheesy and sleazy perfection. This one wins the prize for featuring the most plentiful blood and gore of all the early 80′s jungle flicks, with a “tit torture” scene that tops the more notorious “impalement” scene in Cannibal Holocaust!” It also wins the prize for the most frequent use of the word “twat” in any non porno film! Speaking of porno, the infamous Robert Kerman of “Cannibal Holocaust” “Debbie Does Dallas” legend makes a brief appearance as a NYC cop tracking down Giovanni’s character. It’s too bad Robert didn’t make it down to the jungle this time around. This one has a delightfully sleazy vibe throughout that lends itself to a lot of repeat viewings. I was first introduced this flick back in high school, when it was first hyped to me as one the sickest flicks ever. I wasn’t let down with my first viewing, and countless viewings later I’m still a huge fan.

The freaks at GRINDHOUSE RELEASING have topped themselves with their latest release of CANNIBAL FEROX, which is an absolutely STUFFED 3-disc special edition blu-ray/cd combo. The blu-ray features two different versions of the film, including a brand new extended cut with newly discovered violent footage! The pig-killing and piranha attacks are now available in extended versions, which can also be watched separately. The other incredible highlight of the blu-ray is the amazing 85 minute documentary on the Italian cannibal craze entitled “Eaten Alive! The Rise and Fall of the Italian Cannibal Film.” This extensive and comprehensive documentary features interviews with legends such as Umberto Lenzi, Ruggero Deodato, and Sergio Martino, as well as a slew of others. I personally would have bought this documentary as a separate release, it’s that damn good.

The second disc is loaded with additional interviews, including in-depth sit downs with director Umberto Lenzi, actors Giovanni Lombardo Radice, Zora Kerowa, and Danilo Mattei, and special effects artist Gino De Rossi. There’s also a nifty Easter egg that hides an interview with the infamous Terry Levine of Aquarius Releasing! There’s also the usual trailers and still galleries, which are killer. The highlight of this whole release might be the third disc, which is a CD containing the freshly remastered soundtrack from Budy-Maglione! As if this wasn’t enough of a treat, the CD also includes 20 different alternate takes and remixes! Suffice to say, this is hands down the coolest release of the year so far. This is a MUST HAVE if you are a fan of FEROX. I will even go a step further and add that no gorehound’s collection is truly complete without this gem, SHITFACE, so buy or DIE!!!

KEEP THE BLOOD FLOWING!!!