Humongous!

HUMONGOUS (1982)

It all began with a brutal rape after a drunken bash in Ontario; doesn’t it always? A young woman named Irma is raped by a sweaty fellow who spits on his dick and promises to give the “old maid” what she has been missing. This evil act is promptly avenged with violent bestial death when a wild pack of security dogs hop a fence and rip the rapist to pieces. Irma seals the bastard’s fate by smashing his skull with a rock, but the seeds of evil were planted deep and a hideous birth is the end result. Irma then hides her deformed monster son on a deserted island protected by the same wild dogs. Dog Island stays deserted over the years because the little monster’s toys were once girls and boys.

Flash forward thirty years: Momma is long since dead, and baby Humongous is now all grown up and free to play. Also playing in the water nearby are a gaggle of teenage imbeciles, including good looking blonde leader Eric and his good natured love interest Sandy. Also along for the boat ride are a geeky chick with glasses named Carla, a hothead with a mullet named Nick, and a chick with huge tits named Donna. The party rages until Nick gets shitfaced and grabs a shotgun. Then a violent power struggle ensues, and a child’s toy boat is lit on fire… at least I think that’s what I just saw. That was a seriously cheap looking effect!

The kids, along with a guy named Bob who showed up earlier to flesh out the body count and provide the back story, wind up washed up on Dog island. Nick goes looking for his missing sister Carla and gets chased around by the last remaining wild dog for his efforts. Things then go from bad to worse when Nick lands in a bear trap and then meets Junior. Donna in the meantime makes great use of her massive tits by using them both as a blueberry basket and a blanket. Eric and Sandy eventually wonder off looking for clues and discover the always conveniently located photo book full of back story, and then the monster’s basement shrine to momma filled with rotting corpses. When they try to warn the others it’s already too late. Massive malformed hands crush skulls like grapes. Necks are swiftly snapped and fresh bodies are stashed away for later consumption. A fiery deathtrap proves useless. It’s loose…it’s angry…and it’s getting hungry!

HUMONGOUS is one of those rare horror flicks that managed to kick ass despite the fact that the VHS print I watched was pitch black and most likely edited. Most of the death scenes occur in murky darkness and what little I could make out seemed trimmed. Despite these fatal flaws, the film is still a kick ass slasher flick with unbeatable atmosphere and violence. Director Paul Lynch had previously struck slasher gold with “Prom Night,” and once again he proves himself very capable of helming a superior slasher. The story is nasty from start to finish, and there is pretty much zero chance any of the kids will survive, which adds to the fun of the film.

The monster is a rather unique slasher killer. His closest living relatives would probably be the deformed freaks in “Hell Night.” “Humongous” is somewhat tame in the blood and guts department, but it’s questionable how much footage was scissored for release. You never get a really good look at the monster: only a few select shots of his deformed face, hands, and body. The monster is not the star of the show here. The focus instead goes to the kids and trying to make them sympathetic body count fodder. It’s something of a suspense thriller occasionally punctuated with slasher violence, but unlike “Prom Night” and the majority of other 80′s slasher flicks, in “Humongous” there is no element of revenge motivating the killings. This is man versus beast in a struggle for survival.

As I mentioned previously, this flick was cursed with an incredibly poor looking home video release. Fans who were lucky enough to see the film the way it was meant to be seen in theaters, or catch it on HBO, must have been especially disappointed to see the pitch black, almost unwatchable home video from Embassy. For many years afterwards this one has been making the rounds on the internet, usually via murky looking, edited prints that were traded and  sold as “uncut.”  I had long been making due with a dvd-r copy that was slightly better looking than the vhs release, but equally edited.

Thankfully, the retards that run Scorpion Releasing finally did something right for a change, and actually managed to put out a nice looking, uncut special edition dvd release of HUMONGOUS in 2011. The bonus features include an interesting commentary track with director Paul Lynch and writer William Gray, an alternate “R” rated version of the opening rape scene (which is the one I was used to watching), and the theatrical trailer. I highly recommend picking up a copy, especially to fans of the film such as myself who might want to “see” it for the first time.

KEEP THE BLOOD FLOWING!!!

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