The Nigths of Terror!!!

When the moon turns red the dead shall rise…


Esteemed scientist and Zig Zag Man lookalike professor Ayres unearths and examines an ancient tablet from deep inside the catacombs of a large burial ground conveniently located right next to his mansion. The good professor does not heed the warnings of the “Profecy of the Black Spider” and foolishly decides to open and explore one of the cursed underground crypts. This causes the dead to rise and kill, and the professor quickly learns that not even telling the zombies that you are their friend will stop them!

Before he became a hot lunch for the living dead, professor Ayres was kind enough to invite a few of his colleges along for a weekend visit at his mansion so he could share all of his newfound secrets. The professor’s friends are a horny pack of well to do imbeciles, split neatly into three couples. After arriving for their vacation they waste no time before getting down to business. Leslie tries on some lingerie that she finds in a closet. James tells her that she looks just like a little whore, but he likes that in a girl. George tries to have a tender fireside fuckfest with Evelyn, only to have his cock blocked by her creepy looking incestuous son Michael. Meanwhile, Janet can’t stop crying because she knows they are all doomed if they stay in the mansion and her boyfriend Mark lovingly tells her not to be a retard and just shut up and fuck him.

The next day, Michael is bored with twittling his thumbs and being cooped up inside a mausoleum, and no one seems concerned that the professor is still MIA. The horny couples again split off and go about their weekend frolic. This time around, all three of the males will have their cocks blocked, and Michael is only partly responsible. Mark and Janet wonder off for a photo shoot and make out session only to stumble upon a maggot infested walking corpse. Leslie and James wonder off to write a letter and screw in the cemetery and are attacked by zombies. Meanwhile, Michael shows a cloth that smells of death to his mommy, and the ghouls show up and chow down on George.

All of the remaining morons are eventually forced to take shelter inside the mansion, which is slowly being surrounded by the hungry hordes of the living dead. One by one, they eventually wonder off to be captured and devoured. It doesn’t help matters that the zombies have more brains than the humans they are hunting. At one point the idiots even decide that the zombies might want something inside of the mansion, and not them – and just let them in. And this is after the zombies have already eaten more than a few of their friends. If only the professor was still alive to teach them! “The Earth shall tremble. Graves shall open. They shall come along the living as messengers of death and there shall be the nigths of terror!”

This flick is fucking bananas. I could just stop the review there. Director Andrea Bianchi’s “Burial Ground” has to be one of the most hilarious, off the wall horror flicks of all time. I refuse to use terms like “so bad it’s good” because there is absolutely nothing bad about it. Everything about this flick is sheer perfection. The dubbing, the dialogue, the nudity, and of corpse – the gore! “Burial Ground” is easily one of the most violent and kinky Italian zombie flicks. The horrific highlights include head bashing, breast removal, mutilation, strangulation, throat ripping, heart tearing, and disembowelment. There’s also a great scene where a chick is pulled screaming by zombies into a broken window that seems to have been inspired by Fulci’s infamous splinter scene in “Zombi II.” “Burial Ground” is also notable for featuring zombies that are still smart enough to expertly throw nails, decapitate their victims, and even use battering rams to knock down doors. The impressive looking zombie makeup and effects were created by Rosario Prestopino and Gino De Rossi, who had both previously worked on Fulci’s “Zombi II” & “City Of The Living Dead.”

No review of this flick could be complete without a special mention of the one and only PETER BARK, who steals the entire movie with his performance as poor little Michael. According to legend, the producers of the film didn’t want to deal with the limited shooting schedule that would be imposed upon them if they cast a child in the role, so they (wisely) decided to cast a dwarf in his 20’s instead. Fortunately for all of us, the dwarf they cast for the role also happened to be a creepy looking dead ringer for a pint sized Dario Argento! He also appears to be sporting a really bad rug. This only adds to the pukeworthy nature of the infamous scene where he lovingly attempts to fondle and molest his mother, played by the gorgeous Mariangela Giordano. The relationship between Michael and mother is another uniquely sickening element of the film, and the scene where mommy finally gives in and lets Michael suck at her breast is one of the all time great shockers in horror history!

I have fond memories of renting this one as a wee Brain Hammer, only to have my drunken redneck father demand that I immediately turn it off during the first sex scene because “the only thing that guy is burying is BONE.” (you can’t make stuff like that up folks!) In later years, “Burial Ground” became somewhat notorious to me as a flick that I would repeatedly rent and watch with friends, and yet would retain little to no memory of anything that happened, with the exception of the incest. The ending of the film remained a permanent blur, as I would often fall asleep in a weed-haze somewhere after the halfway point. I blame a lot of this on the fact that the Vestron VHS of “Burial Ground” was pitch black and it was impossible to see what was happening most of the time during the many night scenes.

Fortunately, the fine fiends at Shriek Show released a digitally remastered anamorphic widescreen dvd of BURIAL GROUND that allows zombie fans to finally see all of the film’s eye-popping gory glory as it was meant to be seen! I can say as a long time fan and frequent viewer of the Veston VHS, that watching this dvd really was like seeing the film for very first time. The bonus features include interviews with producer Gabriele Crisanti and star Mariangela Giordano (who still looks incredible!), the original theatrical trailer, a very cool “Gallery of the Undead” still gallery which includes a detailed look at the film’s press book, and “coming attraction” trailers for other Brain Hammer approved clas-sicks such as “Eaten Alive” & “Zombie Holocaust.” Consider this a must have for all lovers of fine Italian cheese & sleaze.


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