Hide And Go Shriek!!!

It’s the last game you will ever play!

HIDE AND GO SHRIEK (1988)

The nifty pre-credits SHRIEK sequence features loving closeups of what appears to be a man (we never see his face) applying makeup over his stubbled cheeks. He then throws on some eyeliner and lipstick before hopping into his car to go cruising for whores. The man quickly picks up a blonde tits-on-a-stick hooker and takes her into a back alley to fuck her against a wall for a spell before stabbing her with a switchblade. Cue opening credits.

We then meet a pair of buff young bros named John & David. The lads are pumping iron and planning a big evening with some gals and pals. In what has to be one of the gayest things I’ve ever seen or heard, David actually tells John that “It’s time to motivate. It’s time to shower!” while knowingly nibbling on a banana! Then we get to meet the girls, a rather skanky and unappealing foursome consisting of: Kim the whore, Bonnie the bitch-whore, Malissa the virgin, and Judy the virgin with a boyfriend. Malissa is excited about the possibility of having sex for the first time, and Kim assures her that “You’re going to love making love. You’ll never want to stop.” She also lends her a sexy black negligee for the special occasion!

Two more idiots named Randy and Shawn (also a virgin) show up so that everybody has a fuck buddy and once paired up the eight imbeciles embark on “the adventure of their lives,” which sadly consists of a“Chinese Fire Drill” and sneaking inside the large furniture store owned by John’s father for a night of drunken hide and seek. If this is truly “the adventure of their lives” it must be said that their lives are fairly pathetic. The gang hides out until the store closes for the evening. John’s father is briefly shown after closing, and we also get introduced to a dock worker named Fred – a creepy looking tattooed ex con who was recently released on good behavior after a long and lonely stretch in the joint for armed robbery. John’s father is nice enough to let Fred stay inside the store after hours because Fred just broke up with his girlfriend and has no place else to go.

Once night falls and the store is deserted, the kids come out of hiding and begin the night’s festivities. As the title suggests, a good portion of the film consists of kids playing hide and seek inside the large dark store. The creative touch is that this is a “fine furniture”store, which means there are plenty of beds for the horny teens to jump in and out of while they play. Things pick up considerably once the killer shows up and bashes Malissa’s head into a sink just before she can try out her new nightie. The transvestite killer slips into it instead and then gives her eagerly awaiting love interest the shock of his young life, blocking his cock in a BIG way by impaling him on giant ornamental spikes!

The giggling made-up madman frequently switches disguises and happily stalks after the kids in the darkness while wearing the clothes of their dead friends. Once the dimwitted teens finally discover that there is a killer in their midst they decide to “arm” themselves with the deadliest weapon they can find – mannequin arms (!) and go looking for the madman to turn the tables. Close your eyes. Count to 10. And run for your Life! It’s a horrifying game of life and death! 

But who is this cross dressing killer, and what brought him to the store in the first place? The incredible answers to those burning questions are revealed in the films mind blowing ending, which I do not wish to spoil for anyone. All I will say is that the identity and motivations of the madman are very “unique,”and make this often overlooked slasher flick quite memorable. Fans of fun 80’s slasher flicks with perverse twists and turns such as “Sleepaway Camp” and “Girls Nite Out” should really appreciate this one. I’ve been a big fan ever since I first stumbled upon a used copy of the unrated VHS. 

Hide And Go Shriek is certainly a product of the gloriously cheesy 80’s. The hair and fashions (check out the sweet jams the character David is wearing!) on display are truly cringe worthy. Extra special attention must be given to lead actress Bunky Jones, who sports one of the skankiest slut outfits ever captured on film. I also have to applaud director Skip Schoolnik for his infinitely wise decision to have three of his four leading ladies take their tops off! Hats off Skip!

The dark store makes an ideal setting for this type of mad slasher flick. There are quite a few scenes of the kids trying to find their missing friends, and interacting with the cross dressing killer that manage to be very creepy, tense and atmospheric. This flick takes it’s time to get going, but once it does it rarely stops to let you catch your breath. The impressive splatter effects were done by the legendary lunatic Screaming Mad George. The highlight of the film for gorehounds is an elaborate set piece that concludes with a semi-nude girl being decapitated by an elevator! A rather weak body count is the film’s only minor fault. I wanted ALL of these annoying kids to die and was a little disappointed to see so many of them still alive and kicking when the end credits rolled. But that’s nitpicking, overall this flick is a blast. 

Sadly, HIDE AND GO SHRIEK has slipped into a state of semi-slasher obscurity. This is one of the more underrated late 80’s slasher flicks in my opinion. Probably because there hasn’t been an official dvd release as of yet, and the rights to the film seem to be in dispute. I for one would love to see a special edition dvd of this flick with a director’s commentary and perhaps a “where is she now” piece on Bunky Jones! Every other horror flick in existence seems to get the red carpet treatment, so hopefully one day Hide And Go Shriek will get the type of release it deserves. And if Skip Schoolnik is reading this, it’s time for the long awaited SHRIEK sequel!!! 

KEEP THE BLOOD FLOWING!!! 

 

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